Gimme Hope Joanna 

Apologies to either of my readers who might be old enough to have that Eddy Grant song stuck in their heads now. The “Joanna” does of course refer to Johannesburg in South Africa and the song deals with the long struggle against apartheid. While the Yes movement might not be as catastrophically divided as that yet, indications are that there are two firmly dug-in camps with no common ground.

Actually that last statement isn’t really true as each one is comprised of unionists who will do anything to derail the chances of independence. If you ask the other that is.

This week saw the sacking/reshuffling-so-no-idea-why-she-flounced-off-in-a-huff of Joanna Cherry, easily the most intelligent and competent/big-headed-thinks-she’s-better-than-she-is MP from the SNP’s front bench at Westminster which we all know is just brimming with exciting talent. I’ve already forgotten her replacement’s name and can’t be bothered Googling although there’s a fair chance she might not appear in the results anyway. Just imagine if Scotland were 1-0 down in the last minute of the World Cup final… I know, I know, but just indulge me here… and we’re desperate for a goal. Do you hook Denis Law and bring Ollie McBurnie on?

It was obviously an act of retribution/just a coincidence that Ms Cherry was booted out from her position just after all this woke nonsense exploded again. A few nonentities that the party could probably do well without go prancing off and Nicola Sturgeon makes a special video pleading for them to come back, seemingly oblivious to the harm they’re doing her chances with the 50%+ of the electorate who are real, genuine women? What’s glaringly obvious is that she couldn’t hate Ms Cherry any more than if Joanna turned up at the SNP Christmas do wearing the exact same dress, only two sizes smaller than hers.

Did Joanna Cherry, as a gay woman, say something outrageous like not being able to imagine being attracted to or dating one of these wannabe women? It looks like that’s enough to bring down their full hellfire and brimstone upon you. Anyone who doesn’t agree with their Through the Looking Glass way of seeing the world is denounced as transphobic and the real puzzle is why an obviously intelligent woman like Nicola Sturgeon is so completely and utterly bewitched by them.

It’s a pity Monty Python wasn’t still around as they could have a field day with all this woke nonsense…

I post vile tweets, I call folk c***s
I go to the lavatory
But always use the ladies’
When I need an SNPee

I’m an utter prat and I’m wokey
I squeal when I don’t get my way

I look real sweet, in my high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I was a girlie
Just like my dear mama.

And now for something completely different…

You know the daftest thing I’ve ever done? Back when I was a teenage electrical engineering student I was using a device called a Megger in the lab one day. The way this works is you attach the terminals to an item you want to measure the resistance of and then turn the handle which activates a high voltage generator that then forces current through the object. This gives a measure of resistance as, by Ohm’s Law, resistance is voltage divided by current. Anyway, I thought it’d be a good idea to measure the resistance of my arm and, looking back, I suppose I can console myself with the fact that I at least had an inquisitive mind. Attaching the crocodile clip to one of my fingers was easy enough, but I had to work to get a good contact between the other clip and my utter arm. I obviously had to keep one hand free as it was needed to turn the handle and drive the high voltage generator and even as I write this it’s truly incredible that at no stage did it dawn on me. So, once suitably wired up I gave the handle a good crank… although not for long!

Still, even at that age with a post-adolescent brain befuddled with teenage hormone thingies, I would’ve known that sending a threat of violence to a qualified lawyer probably wasn’t the best idea in the world! Let’s face it – the guy’s not going to be troubling the business end of Mastermind any time soon is he? If I was him I’d be pleading insanity when my case came up.

And what did Scotland’s First Minister have to say about it? Not a lot as it transpired. No specially made videos either. In fact I didn’t see all that much in the way of public outpourings of support from within the SNP. Why not? Too cravenly cowardly to risk sticking their head above the parapet and be seen by Joanna Cherry’s sworn enemy prowling outside looking for dissenters and deserters?

Take James Dornan MSP and his reply on Twitter to someone asking if he’d contacted Joanna Cherry.

Er… to show solidarity with a colleague who’s just received a credible threat to her personal safety that’s resulted in her having to be moved to a safe place. He’s obviously just the type of maverick you want in the trenches with you.

When it’s left to, of all people, a long streak of toffee-nosed ignorance like Jacob Rees Mogg – “No gruel for you, wench, until you’ve cleaned every chimney in the west wing – now move or I’ll take the riding crop to your buttocks…” to express sympathy and support to an SNP MP then you’re so far down the rabbit hole that you’re likely to come out at Sydney Opera House.

A Cybernat

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