David Cameron probably doesn’t even realise how ridiculous he looks discussing independence with every world leader he can while still frantically trying to avoid debating it with the one that really matters. I speculated last week on who they’d wheel out next, but I must admit I was a bit surprised that it’d be the Chinese leader’s turn to say that he’d like to see a united United Kingdom under no pressure from his host and giving no thoughts at all to the possibility of things like maybe supplying steel for the new HS2 rail service.
Of course a lot might’ve got lost in translation and what he really said was, “Why don’t you send the tanks in? That’s what we’d do.” I’m just surprised that there wasn’t a threat to repatriate the pandas and buy all their Scotch whisky from England in the event of a Yes as well. What a pity DC didn’t ask him for his opinions on Argentina’s claims to the Falkland Islands. That would’ve made for fascinating TV. Or maybe that was the ideal time to take him to task for his country’s treatment of Tibet? After all, look at all that lovely influence we’ve got on the world stage.
Talk about tanks reminds me of one of my all-time heroes:
I wish I had half that guy’s guts. What a pity he’s a “furriner” though eh? Aye it’s that time again with the No side making a big thing about how they don’t want friends or family members becoming alien beings after independence. Vote No Borders were at it although expertly taken apart by Wings as usual. We even had one of them on here on the comments on the last post, the guy finally resorting to the “some of me best friends…” feeble line of defence.
Maybe they’re all worried that their loved ones will develop pot bellies or slitty eyes, to use the Duke of Edinburgh’s charming turns of phrase. Certainly when they come out with crap like that it’s not so much an open goal for the Yes side as a wide gaping chasm of an empty net that even an England striker would be hard pushed to miss.
As for me, well I wake up beside a foreigner every morning. Well, at least I did until she disappeared on a 10-day Baltic cruise with her foreign mother and 2 of her mother’s foreign friends, all of whom were welcome guests over Christmas here at Cybernat Towers. Maybe I need a wee trip to a BT correction camp or something.
Being left to fend for myself is a bit of a nightmare. Two days into her absence and I’ve broken the microwave already. Great – need to shell out cash on a replacement and hope she won’t notice. It’ll make for an interesting conversation on her return:
“This microwave’s really clean.”
“Well I wanted to make myself useful and give it a special polish while you were away, oh love of my life.”
“How come it’s a different brand?”
This leaves me a broken tin opener away from a full-blown crisis where I’ll be reduced to foraging in the back garden. And it looks like I’ve broken the auto-replenishing soap dispenser in the bathroom as well. Ever seen these things? The soap runs out, you leave it alone and next time you go in there it’s full up again. Must work by magic.
And on the subject of magic, we were honoured with a visit from no less a deity than John Major, the man who once made thousands of jobs disappear practically overnight. He says we’re having the referendum in the year of the 700th anniversary of Bannockburn to exploit anti-Englishness. He’s a bit of a tool though. As they say, a picture paints a thousand words…