“We Cannaes” Running Out Of Steam

So are we independent yet?  I woke up this morning thinking we must be after hearing how none other than Norman Tebbit had stuck his oar into the debate.  Let’s face it, the way the Yes vote has gone up after interventions from previous Tories – David Cameron, George Osborne, Gordon Brown – you’d think an utterance from the dark one himself would propel us into the stratosphere.  tebbitSome nonsense about how Britain might have lost the war had Scotland and England not been united apparently.  Nothing about how 20% of the participants in the Battle of Britain came from outwith these shores though or any mention of the contributions from our allies across the Atlantic and in the southern hemisphere.  Just as well they were all ruled from Westminster eh?  Else we might’ve been right up the creek without a paddle.

It wasn’t a good week at all for the “we cannaes”.  No doubt they were hoping that the launch of their new grass roots website Vote No Borders would take off on the back of a massive media-driven publicity campaign.  Instead it looks like it’s going to die a death like so many others before it.  (Whatever happened to Tory Hoose anyway?)  All the comments have been wiped already, both pro-Yes and, er… extremely pro-Yes.  There were some really good suggestions for their T-shirt designs as well although this one would probably have won:

t_shirt

Given that we all exist on a diet of deep-fried Mars bars and waddle around in size XXXXL gear they could probably have got away with putting the paper’s full page 3 editorial on there too.  I’d settle for this bit though:

“History is as nothing to the lives of the children being born now, this morning, in the cities, towns and villages of this country.  On their behalf, we assert a claim to a better, more decent, more just future in which a country’s governments will be ruled always by the decisions of its citizens.”

Anyway, I for one can’t wait to hear the new pro-UK song the VNB band Flowers of Union are composing.  At least in the same way that I enjoy the sound of two alley cats being stapled together or how I’m eagerly anticipating my forthcoming root canal surgery.  Here’s a wee suggestion for them: instead of going for something complicated like that where you have to try and rhyme words like Jerusalem, why not just rework the old Eurodance number No Limit by 2 Unlimited?  They could’ve called themselves 2 Incapable as well instead of the naff name they’ve ended up going for.

You can just hear it…

No no, no no no no, no no no no

No no – NO WE CANNAE!  Defno, defno, defno, defno…

I suppose we should be grateful that they’re not doing what we might’ve expected from Better Togetout and bringing out an updated version of Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer…

“Now there’s no more work for the Jocks…”

crystalballOne person who probably wishes they had gone down this route is Scottish historian (and I use one of these epithets extremely loosely) Allan Massie going by the complete and utter drivel he penned for today’s Heil.  ”A brilliant imagining of life after the Union” they called it which should give you a rough idea of the treats therein.  No point going through it line by line – I’d be here all night , but here’s a few selected lowlights…

If only he hadn’t allowed himself to be persuaded by Michael Gove who, as a Scot himself, assured him that tackling Salmond head-on would play well north of Hadrian’s Wall.

Massie was clearly off the day his school covered geography.

An aide interrupts with news that rioting has broken  out in Belfast –  the Republicans wanting a united Ireland.

Well I suppose Ireland going up in flames isn’t too bad.  It was the whole western world a week or so ago.

In George Square, a drunk man argues that if England hadn’t won the World Cup in Brazil, Scotland would have voted to stay in the Union.  ‘It’ll be 1966 and all that all over again,’ he says.  ‘I was a Unionist myself, but I couldna stand the thought o’ that, and voted yes.  Whit’s mair, the winning goal was offside.’

England winning the World Cup?  Move over, JK Rowling.

Faced with the prospect of losing Shetland – and the substantial oil revenues from its territorial waters – Scottish Finance Minister, John Swinney, is compelled to bring in  an emergency budget, imposing prescription charges, student fees and welfare cuts.

Obviously never heard of the Continental Shelf international treaties either.

As Scotland’s economy withers, England booms.  Salmond is forced to accept that Trident submarines will continue to be based in the Clyde in exchange for an annual rent from London.

Okay, enough.  I’d lost the will to live by that point.  No doubt it was being lapped up by Feeling Rejected of Tunbridge Wells though.  Let’s put it this way: it’s maybe just as well that Mystic Massie earns his living from analysing events of the past.  He clearly is to prophecy what Vote No Borders is to troop-rallying.

A Cybernat

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17 Responses to “We Cannaes” Running Out Of Steam

  1. Stevie Mach says:

    Good to hear one of the major Scottish rags coming over to the light now. I suspect other editors will be watching the sales figures of the Sunday Herald closely (To show support, I tried to buy a copy myself, but too late yesterday, it was sold out everywhere I looked). Perhaps, surprisingly, a bit of unbiased truth and fair comment will turn out to be a great selling point for a newspaper. Who knows, maybe one or two others will shake off the shackles of the dark side!

    All we need now is for some of the few remaining true Red Labour Scottish MSPs to come out of the closet and break the chains of their party’s association with their Red Tory leadership and their Blue Tory friends. Imagine the boost for Scottish Labour for Independence, and the kick-start for a new independent Scottish Labour party in a new independent Scotland! Ah, I will wait in expectation!

    • admin says:

      I bought the last copy in our newsagent, Stevie. I wasn’t sure whether to leave it for maybe an Undecided to see or to make sure it’d be sold out. I’m going to see if I can get an online sub to it.

      As for Labour, any defections too near the referendum are going to look like opportunism and would you trust folk like that? If they’re going to jump they should do it now, not when they think it’s their only chance of getting a job.

      Dave

  2. bjsalba says:

    Massies wet dreams.

    • admin says:

      And that’s probably the saddest part. Him and his like would love it if that came to pass. “Too wee too poor too stupid” syndrome. :(

      Dave

  3. jimnarlene says:

    The Dark Lord Tebbit should remember, Westminsters plan to let Scotland be invaded by the Nazis, to protect the “mother country”.

    • admin says:

      And funnily enough my old dear was complaining about that very thing to me at the weekend. “Better Together?” My @rse.

      Dave

      • jimnarlene says:

        Just had a wee dig around the interweb, and it seems this is miss quote by the Daily Mail, via a press release, about a up-coming book.

        • jimnarlene says:

          Sorry about the typos, touch screen+auto complete=poor quality. I must proof read, before posting.

  4. Caadfael says:

    Just a wee counterpoint to Massie’s pile of :poop: something that should make itsway through every letterbox in Scotland :-
    The underlying wealth of a nation is based on “securities”. The securities that you hold as a country will dictate how strong that your currency is and at what rate and how much money that you can borrow against these securities.
    e.g. .If you own your house outright you can borrow against that “security” as the bank know that they have your house as collateral Securities for most countries are based on gold reserves held or by oil, if you are lucky enough to have that resource.
    Forget everything else for a moment and think about this. ONE day after a YES vote everything changes for both Scotland and the RUK. Westminster know this and are absolutely terrified. One day after a YES vote the complete future oil reserves currently under the control of the UK government LEGALLY pass to Scotland and the RUK are left with less than 10% as defined by International maritime borders.
    The official handover will take longer but the markets will react immediately.
    The assessment of the future oil reserves held in Scottish waters are valued at anything between 1&4 TRILLION pounds!
    Maybe never in history have the people of a country had so much power in their own hands. These incredible assets will support any currency that Scotland chooses, will allow the nation to borrow at extremely attractive market rates and support a Scottish Central Bank should this be required at any time in the future.
    The RUK‘s fiscal position one day after Independence would be nothing short of a disaster.
    Without a currency Union with Scotland the pound will collapse and the credit rating of the RUK will plummet? The RUK will be forced to go to the markets with current debts of 1.4 Trillion pounds just having lost their greatest ever asset and futures securities against their massive debts.
    How do you think that they will be perceived?
    I would put it to better together that it is they, and not Scotland who need a currency Union and that is exactly what will happen in the event of a YES vote.
    Project fear have every reason to be frightened, losing the Scottish contribution to GDP and future Oil securities must be pretty much how the government of the day felt when they lost the American colonies.
    Can you imagine C A Moron’s face when this gets to him!!

    • admin says:

      Well they’ve been ripping us off for centuries so I’ve no sympathy for them, Mike. One thing’s for sure – we’ll get one shot at this golden opportunity. We’ve GOT to take it. I don’t want to go down in history as part of the generation that said No. It’s just too depressing to think about. :(

      Dave

  5. Helena Brown says:

    Well I got my copy of the Sunday Herald and also a bit of depression. I bought mine in Asda in Dunfermline, and the chippy woman at the till side said “Which one are you then. a Yes or a No?” I said I was always a YES, “Naw” she said “we, we are baith Naws”. “Why?” I asked, “have you looked into it”, “Aye” she said “We are too wee and too poor”. I then said so you are quite happy to let all the money from oil to go to Westminster plus the whisky and the money from agriculture?” “Yes she said. Mind she did say I was one of four she had asked who were for yes, never a thought that she was wrong. I said I was certainly not going to argue, sad to say she reminded me of Johann Lamont, her colleague the timid type who went along with her.
    The people that this is working on have no access to the internet, are having their heads filled by the Fourth Estate and our friends in the BBC.plus they see this as Labour versus SNP. If they win and I do hope there are fewer and fewer, the world they will get will not suit them.

    • admin says:

      That is a wee bit depressing. With some folk you’re as well bashing your head off a wall. You’ve got to remember though that it was never going to be unanimous. It might come to it where the disengaged don’t actually bother voting. That’ll suit me fine. One thing’s for sure – every single voter who intends voting Yes will be at the polling station on the day supposing they’ve got to crawl.

      Dave

      • Helena Brown says:

        Aye Dave and the one thing which cheers me up is that I doubt the Chippy woman will be one of them at the polling booth. I recognise the sort, all talk, a bit of a bully but no staying power.

  6. Davy says:

    To be honest I thought Tebbit was deid, just like his policys, but to be fair he proberly doesn’t understand the internet de-bunks his lies faster than he can say them.

    Now I have to honest here, I was banned off Tory Hoose numerous times when it was going, it seemed the truth was very hard for them to take, (the same as Labour Hame). The new lot “NO borders” or something like that appear to have nothing much to do with the borders, instead they maybe should be called the ‘No – sponsered by multi-millionarie london tory – group’, might be a bittie more honest.

    It was stunning news to have the Sunday Herald go YES, it fair cheered my hoose up on Sunday. My Yes Keith group are now canvassing two nights a week and we are really covering the local area, and I would like to say hello to both Cath & Julie the two english ladies at two different house’s on the same street who both told me in no uncertain manner they were voting YES and why, they made my heart sing, thats the type of people I will always welcome to Scotland, being Scottish is inclusive not exclusive. Their welcome a thousand times.

    I am looking forward to the NO campaigns next bolloxs up ???

    • admin says:

      Well you won’t be banned from the new Tory Hoose, Davy. Tut tut – did someone leave a domain name lying around? :)

      I’m banned from the Daily Heil. Quite proud of it too. :)

      I’m now a Sunday Herald reader! Let’s hope a few more come over to the light. Hello, Cath and Julie, if by any chance you’re reading this. :)

      Dave

      • Davy says:

        Oop’s it looks like someone has dropped the ball regarding pensions, another better together fib has bit the dust.

        I hope people can get their money back from the Gordon Brown tour, as his pension prattle has died a death.

        Dave its hard to believe what foot BT will shoot off next !!!

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