Slam Salm

Birthday week last week in Cybernat Towers as I was dragged kicking and screaming further into my 6th decade.  What better way to spend it though than on a  Highland Safari?  You should try one sometime – they’re sheer magic.  You go way up into the Perthshire hills in a landrover where you can see some of the most amazing scenery unfold before you.  While up there you’re continually scanning the landscape for even a fleeting glimpse of Scotland’s rarest creatures – red squirrels, golden eagles, Tories…

Okay the last one was a daft thing to say.  There was probably more chance of seeing a giant panda mud-wrestling a kelpie while an enthusiastic crowd of Loch Ness Monsters egged them on.  The word “safari” used to mean a trip that involved a big-game hunt and I suppose it was a bit coincidental the term being uppermost in my mind during a week that saw another “hunt” in the form of a desperate unionist assault on the First Minister’s character.  ”How very very dare he spend £3,000 on 4 nights in a top US hotel,” they went on, apparently oblivious to how silly their next statement on how a discount had been negotiated was making them look.

Actually that £3,000 figure rings a bell in the context of furthering Scotland’s interests abroad.  Hang on, it’ll come to me… got it – that’s what Westminster charged Scotland Development International for the use of UK embassies (that we’ve already helped pay for) to promote our whisky industry.  I think it’s one of these union dividends where we benefit from the broad shoulders of the UK and get the best of both worlds.

Had the First Minister stayed in a Holiday Inn and met with some local movers and shakers down at the nearest Burger King we’d no doubt have seen some “Is This Really The Best Way To Promote Scotland?” headlines blaring out.  Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t.  Still, that 3 grand sort of pales into insignificance beside the £13k that Dave C spent going wine-tasting during a trip to Australia.  Now I know what you’re thinking – that guy will go anywhere to avoid a debate with the First Minister, but to be fair, this was during a 4-day visit to a Commonwealth summit in 2011.  That was a total of £821,000 well spent eh?  Arrived late, left early but found 90 minutes to swan off on a 90-minute private VIP vineyard tour.  ”Way to go to work for your country’s best interests, Dave,” as our American cousins might say.  Who do you think was giving the best value for money?  It’s a toughie right enough.

Heads don’t come much more prized than the one belonging to Alex Salmond though, hence the fevered coverage in the press whenever they feel they’ve finally “got” something.  A wee word of advice, folks: by all means hold him to account, but there’s no sleaze, no scandal.  How do I know?  Because every single news outlet in the country has no doubt spent significant man-hours trying to dredge up something – anything – with which they can blacken the man’s character.  If there was anything untoward in his background then you can be sure we’d have heard about it by now.

George-OsborneIn fact we’d probably hear about it every time his name gets mentioned… “Alex Salmond, who took a vow in Holyrood upon becoming First Minister in spite of being unable to keep one he made to his wife…”  Oops, sorry – I must be thinking of someone else.

No pictures with hookers either.  Plenty of inquiries though.  Lots of them.  In fact he even referred himself to one just so he could join in with the fun.  Verdict – no case to answer and yet another colossal waste of everyone’s time.

This is about so much more than Alex Salmond and why the Better Togetout mob are continuing down the route of frantically trying to personalise the debate makes absolutely no sense, especially when it’s someone who continues to attract such high approval ratings.  Mind you, I suppose anyone can enjoy a 7-year honeymoon period and when you’ve got absolutely nothing else in your armoury you’re left with little choice.  Best not interrupt them while, etc, etc.  No wonder their support is dropping faster than Cristiano Ronaldo in an opposition penalty box.

A Cybernat

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3 Responses to Slam Salm

  1. Helena Brown says:

    Well thank you for that, Alex has enough to be going on with without the media as well as those two witches at Holyrood. I know what the problem is there are no Rowan trees planted outside, that would keep them out.
    They would have enough to say if Alex and wife had stayed in a B&B as I said somewhere else. As it is there are those in the US who call us mean, because we do not throw money around. Well they should know, after all they are throwing most of the rest of the world’s money around given the debt they are in.
    I read somewhere that somebody was going to accuse Alex of having an affair with someone, I think not. I do not think Alex Salmond has worked as hard as he has to give them any satisfaction or his good lady Moira grief at this stage.

    • admin says:

      They must be gnashing their teeth with frustration at their inability to pin anything on the First Minister. I’d like to bet they’ve gone round talking to folk that were in the same primary school class as him hoping to get any kind of story. Mind you I wouldn’t be surprised if some dirt surfaced just before the referendum. Doesn’t have to be true – just needs to surface. It’ll be around the same time as some hitherto unknown Scottish terrorist group pops up.

      Dave

      • Helena Brown says:

        Well they have got so many people hating alicsammin that anything said is bound to be true, and yes a wee bombing will likely be attributed to some strange Scottish Nationalist Group.

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