There was a flu outbreak in Cybernat Towers last week. Those late 19th Century Egyptian tomb raiders opened sarcophagi and found healthier looking specimens than me. ”Death will come on swift wings to those who disturb the sleep of the Pharaohs” said an inscription above one particular vault they came across. Well the Grim Reaper would have been considered a merciful visitor chez moi. Never mind making it to the referendum, Saturday lunchtime was looking like it’d be a step too far. I felt as sick as a Bitter Together activist looking at his canvassing returns.
Actually that’s a daft thing to say. BT have got activists??? Whatever has been happening over the last couple of weeks has certainly got more than a few folk flapping in the “we cannae” camp. Even the Daily Heil were at it with a panicky “Campaign to save the UK in crisis” headline blaring out. It certainly made a change from the mocking “Support for separation evaporating: Salmond’s dream in tatters – soon there’ll be only him and Sturgeon in favour of his crazy divorce plot” routine that we’ve become accustomed to.
So is there any evidence for this apparent shift in attitude? Well, I had a couple of interesting encounters myself recently. The first was during a conversation with a solid Labour voter who has the most worthwhile, underpaid job in society, i.e. he’s the driver for the local Indian restaurant who brings us our Friday night curry. Now this man hates Alex Salmond. In fact saying he hates the FM is a bit like saying that wee guy Messi is a bit nifty wi’ a ba’ at his feet. Salmond is the smuggest, sleaziest, least trustworthy individual who ever walked God’s green earth. The only reason he isn’t currently doing jail time is because he’s so adept at covering his tracks according to this gentleman who is one of the staunchest Yes voters I’ve met.
He also told me that nearly everyone in his circle will be voting Yes as well. Whether or not they share his opinions on Alex Salmond matters not one jot – the thought of hoofing the Tories out of power up here until the Twelfth of Never is a primary consideration for most of them and too good an opportunity to be missed.
Talking about Tories brings me to Auld Jimmy, politically the polar opposite of the person above. By any standards Jimmy has had a successful life. He’s been retired for years, lives a comfortable lifestyle and numbers doctors, teachers and lawyers among his numerous grandchildren. Back in the 80′s he was a big admirer of the she-devil: “Marvellous woman that Mrs Thatcher. She’s just what Britain needs. She’ll get the country sorted out and back on its feet.”
When Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands there was nobody more jingoistic than Jimmy. The aforementioned Messi might never have existed had Jimmy got his way with gunboats sailing up the River Plate leveling and nuking anything that moved.
Auld Jimmy will be voting Yes in September. Makes you think doesn’t it? If the Auld Jimmies are moving over then it’s time to start building these imaginary border crossings and weep for your family members who’ll shortly become foreigners.
A good pal of mine has also moved from Don’t Know to Yes after attending an event in Edinburgh where Nicola Sturgeon was one of the speakers. She was enthused by the sheer positivity and – something that’s very important to her – the complete lack of any disrespectful comments about the other side.
This brings to mind a story from our local high street where an undecided voter spoke to the people on the BT stall and promptly crossed the road to sign up for Yes. His reasons? “Yak, yak, yak… fat bassa that Salmond… too fond of curries… must weigh 300 pounds… how much will he weigh after separation when we cannae use the pound, etc, etc.”
Paraphrasing slightly there but you get the idea. Not only are we moving folk from No to Don’t Know to Yes, but so are the other lot. There can’t have been another campaign in history where both sides are bringing about identical outcomes. And now we’re supposed to believe they’re going to be more positive? Aye, right. I can just imagine:
“We’re positive there’ll be no currency union… we’re positive you’ll be thrown out the EU/have to join the Euro… we’re positive all your businesses will head south.
Let’s hope they keep it up. This is happening, folks.