Same Old Tory

They tell me that none other than Tory toff David Cameron was up here gracing us with his presence yet again this week at his party’s North British conference.  The Yes campaign must be sitting in the high 80′s by this time.  I tend not to watch the UBC so haven’t caught any footage from the venue.  Was it even on the telly?  If so it was an impressive feat getting a whole camera crew into one of these things:

phonebox

 

 

 

 

 

I did catch some of his gibbering online though.  So let’s summarise the words of wisdom from the man who has no wish to interfere in the referendum debate as it’s a matter for the people of Scotland alone as he interfered in the referendum debate…

“We want the Scottish Parliament to have greater responsibility for raising more of the money it spends – that’s what Ruth believes, and I believe it too.”

Well now we seem to be getting somewhere.  I actually agree so how about we keep all our money and you can keep yours instead of you keeping ours as well?  Sounds like a good deal.

“Vote ‘No’ – that can mean further devolution, more power to the Scottish people and their parliament, but with the crucial insurance policy that comes with being part of the UK.”

And I’ve got this Nigerian pal that will transfer a million pounds for you.  Just contact me at the usual address with your bank account details and I’ll pass them on.

“If the Scottish people vote ‘Yes’ in September, then Scotland will become an independent country. There will be no going back, no second chances.”

Well, aye.  That’s sort of the idea.

“This is a major life-changing decision – and you don’t make one of those without getting all the information you can.  “You wouldn’t choose a car without an MOT.”

And you certainly wouldn’t buy one from a Tory.  You wouldn’t even shake hands with one of these without counting your rings afterwards.

“Those spelling out the consequences include the Bank of England’s Mark Carney, who said an independent Scotland would need to give up some power to make a formal currency with the rest of the UK work.”

Would that be the currency union that we definitely, absolutely won’t be getting?  Giving up some power would maybe be a wee bit preferable to giving up all our power the way we do now of course.

“Nationalist claims that we’re guilty of scaremongering are a myth.”

Well they clearly don’t do irony over at one of the No campaign’s most committed mouthpieces, the NorthBriton.  See how many you can spot…northbrit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Voting No is about being part of a bigger team.  A family of nations.  And we’ll see the strength of that family again at the Commonwealth Games this summer.  You want to know something wonderful?  When the call went out for volunteers at Glasgow 2014, more than a quarter of those who responded were from elsewhere in the UK.”

Wow!  I bet there were some applications to volunteer at the forthcoming Ryder Cup from golf fans outside Scotland as well.  Weird eh?  Whoever would’ve thought that there are other athletics fans on these islands that’d jump at the chance to maybe get close to their idols such as Usain Bolt?  Of course the Jamaican superstar’s fans would be disappointed to see him being left trailing in a cloud of dust were Cameron to be in the adjacent lane and someone told him that Alex Salmond had just arrived for a debate.

Don’t mention the war though, Dave – don’t mention the war… oh sh*t too late…

“My great-great uncle, Capt John Geddes, helped lead an heroic charge at the Battle of Kitchener’s Wood in the Great War while serving in the 16th Btn (Canadian Scottish) of the Canadian Expeditionary Force.  Now you can debate the rights and wrongs of that war, but no one can dispute what a powerful example it is of how when the chips were down, the stakes were high and the cause was just we stood together.  We’re currently drafting proposals to unite with Canada.  We’ll send them all of our income, they’ll give us 70% of it back and as a thank-you we’ll store their nuclear warheads on the Thames.”

I made that last bit up.  Give somebody all your cash, get some of it back and act as a nuclear shield for them?  Whoever heard of anything so ridiculous?

A Cybernat

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11 Responses to Same Old Tory

  1. Helena Brown says:

    I imagine Dave, that there will be some constructive photography not to show just how many people were in the hall ( small hall). Seems we are also to have the benefit of a border post, yes one post either in the area of Gretna, now would that mean that we will have a Russian Type invasion ower the border? The other proposal is at Berwick, would that be into their border?
    Well here is my suggestion if we should be smart enough to vote YES. We build up our Ports, nothing need leave Scotland other than through our own Ports and Airports. That will snooker their balance of payments. We will sell ur oil through a third party and demand that England pay through the nose for it. We need to cut the Electricity Grid, we can get better money elsewhere, they have us paying presently to export our energy.
    What do you think?
    THANK-YOU

    • admin says:

      Sounds good to me. It’d be nice to be good neighbours but they seem determined not to be. Darien time all over again. You have to wonder what’s wrong with them. Quite sad really.

      Dave

  2. bringiton says:

    “Voting No is about being part of a bigger team”
    If Cameron is so keen on being part of a bigger union (family of European nations),why is he proposing a referendum to take England out of the EU ?
    Labour are also proposing that,should the EU decide to take any more powers away from the parliament in England,they too will hold a similar referendum.
    As usual,their policies on Scotland are unique to Scotland and don’t apply anywhere else on the planet.

    • admin says:

      And that’s it in a nutshell. I saw an article a while back about the head of Nissan saying they might leave if the UK came out of the EU. The Daily Heil went berserk at the sheer audacity of the suggestion! :lol:

      Dave

  3. Davy says:

    I think you missed out him saying, ” where the f##k is everybody”, dont they know its me the prime minster speaking.

    Its when you actually see the numbers attending the tory conference is realise exactly how much influence they really have in Scotland, NIL.

    Note: just heard Jim Murphy get a real tanking on Good Morning Scotland at about 07.10 am today, also who woke Charles Kennedy up I had totally forgotten about him.

    Keep up the good work Dave, it makes a difference.

    • admin says:

      You’re wrong about the conference, Davy. It was fancy dress day and they all decided to go as purple seats. ;)

      Forgot about Charles Kennedy too! No wonder.

      Dave

  4. Arbroath 1320 says:

    How nice it was to see dear old “Call me Dave” at the weekend. What a pity he was unable to change the broken record before he opened his mouth though. Zzzzzz

    What was equally interesting was the “fly by night” visit by “Call me Dave’s” Defence Secretary. Mind you thinking about everything that is right, sorry I mean wrong, with M.O.D. perhaps it was just as well it a fly by night visit. Whistling

    I wonder if he mentioned the 2012 visit by our, sorry “Call me Dave’s”, new best friend Mr Putin, or to be more exact his navy to our shores in the Moray Firth…NAH probably not. Sad

    I wonder if he mentioned the 2013 visit by our, sorry “Call me Dave’s”, new best friend Mr Putin, or to be more exact his navy to our shores in the Moray Firth…NAH probably not. Weary

    I wonder if he mentioned closing two out three R.A.F. bases in Scotland…NAH probably not. Cry-Out

    I wonder if he mentioned scrapping ALL the Nimrod surveillance/A.S.W./Search and Rescue aircraft…NAH probably not. Bye

    I wonder if he mentioned the nuclear leak at H.M.S. Vulcan at Dounreay…NAH probably not. Afraid

    I wonder if he mentioned how the Army are going on live firing exercises and firing their shell 5 MILES off course…NAH probably not. Yes-Sir

    I wonder if he mentioned H.M.S. Argyll firing a dummy torpedo at the nuclear submarine dockyard in Plymouth…NAH probably not. I-m-Bored

    I wonder if he mentioned how the M.O.D. are now using high tech technology, a.k.a. Facebook and Twitter, to keep track of foreign navies…NAH probably not. Hello

    Well this just leaves one question to be asked:

    “What the hell WAS he doing in Edinburgh then?” Ssshh

    So ends yet another fascinating week in a yet otherwise boring week that is the Rainbow partry having a group sing song of their anthem…”We love you!” THANK-YOU

    • admin says:

      And there we have the smiley record! :)

      All good points. It must be a nightmare for the “Scottish” MSM not being able to question Tories too closely since they have to be on the same side. Until September 19th anyway.

      Dave

  5. Helena Brown says:

    Just thought I would mention the number of auld folk at the conference, zimmers are us but very unlikely to make good activists. One or two serious young men and that seems to be it. Most turned out for Davy then it sort of tailed of and by the time Robot Ruth turned up, well she should not have been bothered.

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