The Northbriton have fairly been at it hammer and tongs over the last few days. Anyone would think a poll had just come out showing the Yes side in the lead or something.
Banner headlines were given to the Chancer of the Exchequer’s claims that a “split” would weaken trade, labour migration and other economic links between our countries. He even gave us a figure – 2 grand per household. Don’t you just love these nice round figures? “Scots Fans Leave 10,000 Beer Cans in Trafalgar Square.” Imagine being the poor sod who had to count them:
“Haw, Jimmy – ye got the right time?”
“Oh luv a duck – 1…2…3…”
I wish they’d make their minds up. Earlier this year independence was going to cost me a pound and I really need to budget for it just in case. Of course further reading reveals that this will be over a 30-year period. Highly reliable then. I well remember back in 1978, just after the Argentina World Cup debacle, all the forecasters saying, “You think that was humiliating? Just wait until your banks go t*ts up in 2008.”
Here’s the bit I’m not getting though: in 2011 we exported £36bn worth of goods to the rest of the UK and we imported £49bn from them. This export figure will apparently drop by 80% over 30 years after independence. Presumably though the import figure will remain the same? It’s hard to say as they don’t mention that bit. Unless they’ve missed a decimal point out somewhere in that latter number why is it us who should be worried?
Next up for Ozzy and gleefully trumpeted by his northern cheerleader was his favourite subject of oil revenues. We’re too wee to absorb the fluctuations ourselves it seems. Far better that all the cash goes into a larger economy where the peaks and troughs can be flattened out. It’s a bit like saying to someone that they don’t want that prospective windfall because it could make them either rich or filthy rich. In any case it appears there’s only 1/12th of the Scottish Government’s claimed reserves left which makes you wonder why there’s the desperation to hang on to them. When is it they’re due to run out again? Oh aye – September 17th, 2014. Whoever writes the trash in that bogroll obviously doesn’t do irony, otherwise they might not have included, “The claim came as Chancellor George Osborne met oil and gas leaders in Aberdeen to acknowledge the vital role the industry plays in the UK economy.”
I’ve heard “What will we do when the oil runs out?” a few times from folks. Well it’ll run out someday that’s for sure, but the earnings from it will run out a hell of a lot faster if they continue to be pumped down south. Has there ever been a bigger collection of utter suckers on the face of the planet than us? I’m amazed that most of the population haven’t been duped by some Nigerian geezer offering to transfer thousands into their bank accounts.
Just for good measure a poll then appeared telling us that the Yes vote has “slumped” yet again. There must be only me, Eck and Nicola left by this time the way it keeps dropping to its “lowest ever”. One thing’s for sure – I will eat any head garment you put in front of me if the No vote is more than double the Yes one as is being claimed. Of course maybe they’d all read Michael Kelly’s latest offering, charmingly titled “History cuts Scotland down to size” and were left agreeing that we really are too wee, too poor and too stupid to ever imagine that we could be like every other normal country on the planet. He had me convinced as well right up until “one remembers the much more onerous burden the collapse of our banks would have had on Scotland alone” thankfully brought me back to reality. That was a close one.
As usual when relentless negativity starts to weigh heavily on me, I have a wee look at the Daily Heil site. I saw they were running with the “2 grand” story so it was just a case of waiting patiently for them to come crawling out from under their stones. They didn’t disappoint. Enjoy the selection:
“Tax-payers in England will continue to be worse off if Scotland does not get independence. And continue be ruled in Parliament by those from north of the border.”
“If there were less English haters in Scotland then the chances are they would vote for unity. My experience though tells me there are more than enough English and Tory haters in Scotland.”
“Yeah and you’ll lose all that luverly tax money to play with won’t you. It’s time we English had our own government with real ENGLISH politicians not these pretenders from Scotland who take our money and send it up North. I do not want to ever see that irrational hatred that brown had for the English ever again in a politician so the Scots can pick up their marbles and go home.”
“let them go osborne .the english are sick of their never ending winging .let them go ,let them learn the hard way. the scots are born with a chip on their shoulder the size of a plank .time they did there own thing till it all goes bad again.”
“Trouble is, if the scots do leave the UK, we will not be able to expel those who have already settled in England and are such a pain in the neck. They will still be able to climb the political ladders and take over England. Elizabeth Tudor could never have imagined what a bain the Stuarts would be.”
“I see good old George has got it wrong again England has had enough of the whingeing whining Scots who forever have their hand out. So give us a referendum then it will be goodbye Scotland.”
A common historical bond? I don’t even have common DNA with these people.