I’m knocking cybernats.com on the head for the year. Not because I need a break, more that I’m sure you’ll all have better things to do over the next couple of weeks than read the ramblings on here. I sincerely hope you have anyway. So no more from me unless the Daily Mail really winds me up which I suppose is highly likely.
Remember – it’s the season of peace on earth and goodwill to all men which means we can still be rude to Johann.
I was thinking it’s been a wee while since we had a singalong on the blog so crank up your speakers, hit the individual Play buttons and let’s get into the festive spirit:
Away in a Manger
You’re in such great danger, if you dare to vote Yes
A No vote would please us and surely be best
You can’t stay afloat on just oil and whisky
Don’t you dare leave us, it’s way too risky.
Our credit score’s lowering, a real hash we’ve made
You’d go bust without us and all of our aid
You drain us of money while all yours we steal
“We’re better together” – aye, that sounds a deal.
Hark the Herald
At the Herald journos bring
All their latest offerings
Scotsman, Record, they’re the same
Talking Scotland down’s their aim
We’re too poor and subsidised
Read the next Westminster lies
Normal folk govern themselves
That’s okay for someone else.
No better at the BBC
A waste of electricity
Present the union side as facts
Paid for by our licence tax
It’s a farce and there should be a
Boycott of all biased media
Where else would you expect to see
Contempt shown for your own country?
Once in Royal David’s City
That boy Davidson’s so witty,
“Newsnat Scotland’s” what he said,
“Ah’m mair at hame in the big city,
Who cares aboot you northern plebs?”
The only things he cares about -
His pension and expense account.
If you serve on a committee,
It’s better to avoid his stare,
A female all alone and pretty,
Will get a doin’, best beware.
At least no’ in a sexual way,
Guess that makes it all okay.
Hmmm… these were a wee bit dark and not quite what I intended. It’s Christmas time after all so let’s sign off with a couple of more up-tempo numbers. Johann recently said that her first year as Labour leader had been fun. It certainly has, Johann – it certainly has…
Deck the Halls
Glaring wild-eyed she’s nae dolly
That’s one bird who’s aff her trolley
Wails each Thursday like a banshee
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-Lamont
Can’t look any dafter can she?
“Why buy steel fae Chinese sellers?”
Took Eck a few attempts to tell her
Looks an @rse at FM questions
Ain’t it sad that she’s their best yin?
And of course, everyone’s favourite -
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Johann the Labour leader
Always wore a big red rose
It was a revered symbol
Of socialism I suppose.
All of the Scottish journos
Never asked her anything
“Just send a press release in
And we’ll publish verbatim.”
Then one day Elf Miliband
Phoned her up to tell…
“Benefits we can’t afford
Your principles must go to hell.”
Then all the Scottish public
Could so very clearly see
That Johann the left-wing champion
Was really just a red Tory!
Thanks a million for visiting during 2012. There’s some gifts awaiting you in the Freebies page. Download and enjoy.
I hope you all have a great Christmas and a prosperous New Year!
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